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Hayley Santell

I Once Was a Mama

I Once Was a Mama

Regular price $1,200.00 USD
Regular price Sale price $1,200.00 USD
Sale Sold out
Frame

Oil / 24 karat gold / cotton canvas

24 x 30 x 1.5"

  • Option to add a custom-built frame (choice of wood/paint color,) made by one of the last frame shops in Kansas City to mill, sand and finish all frames in-house.
  • A couple photos included are of the piece on exhibit in the lobby of Hotel Kansas City. "Flying in the Dark exhibition is up from February 1st-February 28th 2025

Back story:

In March, I found out I was pregnant. Overjoyed was an understatement. At 10 weeks, I went in for my first sonogram appointment, only to have my world come crashing down. My sweet baby had been growing just great but no longer had a heartbeat. Additionally, the sonographer found a six inch cyst (roughly the size of a deflated soccer ball) on my left ovary. I was referred to an oncologist as they were worried about cancer in the cyst or ovary. A few weeks later, I had a D&C surgery to remove the pregnancy that was no longer. I sat on the edge of the hospital bed in the intake room before they brought me into surgery. I was all alone and terrified, clutching a book for comfort and attempting to hold back tears. After the baby was removed, I woke up to an angel of a human (a nurse from St. Lukes) comforting me. Her love was so radiating that tears fell down my cheeks. I may not have been pregnant long, but it brought me comfort to know I was still a mom.

This painting is dedicated to the little one I lost and to anyone who's experienced miscarriage. I know now that God made me a mom just briefly for a reason. The pregnancy brought my husband and I to the top of a mountain and then smack on our faces on the floor of the pitch black valley with no stairs to get up. The baby taught us so much, we grew so much. My acupuncturist once said, all souls are given a big purpose by God, but some just have a little less time to achieve that grand purpose. I'll always remember this little one as the soul with an abundance of purpose...

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